Brother Andrew tells a story in his book, ‘God’s Smuggler’ about an opportunity he had to print a huge number of Chinese Bibles. The trouble was money–Andrew didn’t believe in begging for money–as God is the King, he would know and supply their needs. But God didn’t seem to be sending funds for this project. But focused on the importance of Bibles for China, he considered a way to get enough money to produce the Bibles–to sell their house. Although Brother Andrew felt that God might be calling him to sell, neither he nor his wife could bring themselves to do it. So their prayer turned from “God, let us be willing to sell our house” into “God, make us willing to want your plan, so that we will be willing to sell our house.”
Often times our primary sin is not that we don’t do what God commands, but that we don’t want to do what God commands. When you want to serve the True God in your own way, and not in His way, that’s idolatry and rebellion. Even if you’re doing what he wants (like printing
Bibles for China) but do it in your own way, that’s sin.
So like Brother Andrew, our prayer often becomes, “God, let me want-to want-to!” Pray for the desires of God to be your desires, and that His heart would be your heart. Only then can you truly love God as you aught.